{"id":488,"date":"2025-07-04T09:46:14","date_gmt":"2025-07-04T09:46:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/the-road-from-i-have-to-to-i-want-to\/"},"modified":"2026-04-13T20:55:04","modified_gmt":"2026-04-13T18:55:04","slug":"the-road-from-i-have-to-to-i-want-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/the-road-from-i-have-to-to-i-want-to\/","title":{"rendered":"Droga od \u201emusz\u0119” do \u201echc\u0119”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was born in the Polish People\u2019s Republic \u2014 a country defined by queues, ration cards, and a deep cultural imprint that equated hardship with virtue<\/strong>. Like many others, I was raised in a family that taught me \u2014 explicitly or silently \u2014 that worth is measured in effort, status and income<\/strong>. There was affection, but there were also dysfunctions we didn\u2019t have the language to name.<\/p>\n

Od najm\u0142odszych lat goni\u0142em. Najpierw za ocenami, potem za uznaniem. W podstaw\u00f3wce, liceum, na studiach \u2014 nie chodzi\u0142o mi o to, by by\u0107 lepszym dla siebie. Chcia\u0142em by\u0107 lepszy od innych<\/strong>. Po co? Sam nie wiedzia\u0142em. Po prostu tak zosta\u0142em nauczony: \u017ce \u017cycie to rywalizacja, w kt\u00f3rej trzeba wygrywa\u0107.<\/p>\n

When it came time to choose a major, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. Like many teenagers, I was confused, but I was also good at math \u2014 and my father, practical and firm, said: \u201cIf you don\u2019t know what you want, choose something that will make you money.\u201d<\/em> That\u2019s how I ended up studying computer science.<\/p>\n

Potem przysz\u0142a rodzina. I obowi\u0105zek zapewnienia stabilno\u015bci. A w tle \u2014 nieustanna presja sukcesu: social media kipi\u0105ce luksusem, zdj\u0119cia z egzotycznych wakacji, samochody z salonu. Chcia\u0142em wi\u0119cej. Wi\u0119c pracowa\u0142em wi\u0119cej. Wyjecha\u0142em za granic\u0119. Bra\u0142em nadgodziny. Szuka\u0142em awansu. Potem drugiego. Potem zosta\u0142em dyrektorem. Potem kolejnym. A\u017c w ko\u0144cu\u2026 CTO.<\/p>\n

I wtedy co\u015b p\u0119k\u0142o.<\/p>\n

Nie dlatego, \u017ce by\u0142o \u017ale. Ale dlatego, \u017ce nic mnie ju\u017c nie goni\u0142o<\/strong>, a ja sam nie wiedzia\u0142em, dok\u0105d dalej biec. Zatrzyma\u0142em si\u0119. Spojrza\u0142em za siebie. I zobaczy\u0142em puste przestrzenie tam, gdzie mog\u0142a by\u0107 rodzina, pasje, przyjaciele.<\/p>\n

Zrozumia\u0142em, \u017ce problem nie by\u0142 w pracy, ani w stanowisku.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Problem by\u0142 w sposobie my\u015blenia.<\/p>\n

Ca\u0142e \u017cycie \u017cy\u0142em w \u015bwiecie \u201emusz\u0119\u201d.<\/p>\n

Musz\u0119 sko\u0144czy\u0107 dobre studia.<\/p>\n

Musz\u0119 dobrze zarabia\u0107.<\/p>\n

Musz\u0119 utrzyma\u0107 rodzin\u0119.<\/p>\n

Musz\u0119 mie\u0107 awans.<\/p>\n

Musz\u0119 by\u0107 lepszy.<\/p>\n

I wtedy zada\u0142em sobie pytanie: A co je\u015bli nic nie musz\u0119? Co je\u015bli mog\u0119 chcie\u0107?<\/em><\/p>\n

Ta zmiana \u2014 z \u201emusz\u0119\u201d na \u201echc\u0119\u201d \u2014 zmieni\u0142a we mnie wszystko<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Nagle spojrza\u0142em na swoj\u0105 rol\u0119 inaczej. Nie jak na tytu\u0142 do obrony, ale na mo\u017cliwo\u015b\u0107. Mo\u017cliwo\u015b\u0107 nauki, dawania, wsp\u00f3\u0142pracy, blisko\u015bci z lud\u017ami<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

I had lived most of my life in a world built around \u201cI have to.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

To Wy \u2014 moi wsp\u00f3\u0142pracownicy, rozm\u00f3wcy, przyjaciele.<\/p>\n

To w\u015br\u00f3d Was si\u0119 rozwijam, to od Was si\u0119 ucz\u0119, to dla Was chc\u0119 co\u015b wnosi\u0107.<\/p>\n

(Cho\u0107 przyznaj\u0119 \u2014 je\u015bli jeste\u015bcie w jednym pokoju w zbyt du\u017cej liczbie, to moje ADHD odmawia wsp\u00f3\u0142pracy \ud83d\ude09 ).<\/p>\n

I w\u0142a\u015bnie dlatego dzi\u015b o tym pisz\u0119.<\/p>\n

And so I asked myself: What if I didn\u2019t have to? What if I could want to?<\/em><\/p>\n

Nie poprowadzisz nikogo, je\u015bli nie potrafisz si\u0119 zatrzyma\u0107.<\/p>\n

Nie zainspirujesz nikogo, je\u015bli nie wiesz, po co sam to robisz.<\/p>\n

Nie zbudujesz nic trwa\u0142ego, je\u015bli ci\u0105gle tylko \u201emusisz\u201d.<\/p>\n

M\u00f3j ojciec, kt\u00f3ry wiele lat by\u0142 dyrektorem i potem prowadzi\u0142 firm\u0119, kiedy\u015b powiedzia\u0142: \u201eDyrektor to kto\u015b, kto nic nie umie, bo nie ma fachu.\u201d<\/em> Wtedy milcza\u0142em. Dzi\u015b ju\u017c wiem, \u017ce to nieprawda.<\/p>\n

Dobry lider to kto\u015b, kto potrafi widzie\u0107 drugiego cz\u0142owieka.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kto umie go wys\u0142ucha\u0107. I pom\u00f3c mu zobaczy\u0107, kim mo\u017ce si\u0119 sta\u0107.<\/p>\n

A wszystko zaczyna si\u0119 wtedy, gdy przestajesz pyta\u0107: \u201eco musz\u0119 zrobi\u0107?\u201d<\/em>,<\/p>\n

i zaczynasz pyta\u0107: \u201eco chc\u0119 zbudowa\u0107?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

And so today I write this for one reason:<\/p>\n

Because I believe that being a manager starts with being a human.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t lead well if you don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t grow others if you\u2019re not willing to grow yourself.<\/p>\n

And you can\u2019t fake presence or purpose.<\/p>\n

When my father, who had spent years as a director and later ran his own company, once told me, \u201cA director doesn\u2019t really know anything \u2014 he has no real trade,\u201d<\/em> I didn\u2019t argue.<\/p>\n

Now I know better.<\/p>\n

Leadership is a trade.<\/p>\n

A deeply human one.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the art of seeing others \u2014 and showing them who they can become.<\/p>\n

And it begins the moment you stop asking what you have to do<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014 and start asking what you want to build.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Urodzi\u0142em si\u0119 w PRL-u \u2014 \u015bwiecie kolejek, kartek na mi\u0119so i przekonania, \u017ce cierpienie uszlachetnia. Dorasta\u0142em w typowej polskiej rodzinie, w kt\u00f3rej mi\u0142o\u015b\u0107 przeplata\u0142a si\u0119 z nieprzepracowanymi schematami. By\u0142o w niej wsparcie, ale i cicha presja. O warto\u015bci cz\u0142owieka decydowa\u0142o to, ile zarabia, jak ci\u0119\u017cko pracuje i ile znosi w milczeniu. Od najm\u0142odszych lat goni\u0142em. Najpierw za ocenami, potem za uznaniem.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":20000,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-488","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-people-management"],"blocksy_meta":[],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=488"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50047,"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488\/revisions\/50047"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=488"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=488"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/managershaven.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=488"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}